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Lies We Tell Ourselves


Magically, Without Effort Lie
From: Gerty W.

I tell myself all sorts of lies.  Some are little:  "I'm not that fat."  And some are of the "bold face" variety: "That didn't hurt."  "I don't care if he calls."  "I'm not jealous."   But there are dark lies, too.  Lies that I want to keep telling.  "I can still achieve that distant dream of mine, I just don't have time."   "I'm not getting older."  "I still have potential."   These are the dangerous lies because I want to keep them hidden from view.   They soothe me.  They comfort me.  They keep me a victim.  Believing these lies means I can continue to believe I'm not responsible for making my dreams come true.  I can fantasize that one day, in the future, that desire will be fulfilled.   Magically, without effort.

There is one big lie lurking in the back of my psyche that truly scares me.   Its gnashing teeth motivate me to keep moving toward my dreams.  Sometimes I move forward, backward, and sideways, but any movement is progress.  That lie is, "I never really wanted to be that anyway, so it's good I didn't waste time trying."  That lie, is massive. It makes standing still seem appealing.   And if I believed in that lie, I wouldn't put my shoes on in the morning.  I wouldn't ever pick up a paintbrush, or sit down at the computer, or try anything that frightens me.  That lie means, "Give up now, before you actually believe in yourself, before you fail, before you get hurt." 





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