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Lies Our Bosses Tell Us

Excellent Suggestion From A Reader:

"I'd like to see an open forum for the topic of "Lies Employers Tell." Right about now, I've got a lot to say, and would love to vent and hear what other people's frustrations are, too."

Lie #1: We promote based on performance.

Use The Form Below To Vent Or Confess.  (Some bosses may want to chime in about how they are so obviously misunderstood.)

Click here to add a lie that your BOSS has told you.


my boss has always been a jerk, but this one takes the cake. About six months ago I was informed that I would be heading up a new department. A few months later he called in a former employee to work for the season. I thought it was a little strange but made no effort to question this decission, because we did need the help. Now the time has come for me to take over and I have not been given any opportunity to do anything with this department. To make a long story short. The person who was coming into fill in for the season, was told that she was taking over the department. What am I suposed to do here. It was an informal promotion with no raise in salery. This is not the first time he has done this to anyone. This is however the first time he has done this to me. HELP!
                --- Sonja

Promised a work load letter (negotiation) and working conditions change. Strung me on for 3 weeks, promising every week. Then refused to sign the letter.
                --- "Anon"
Iowa99
the post master in my office told me,when I was going hiome sick that I had better get a doctor note before comming back to work and he didnt care if I had to set in the emer. room that I will have been seen by a doctor.
The next when returing to work he said to me I hope you didnt go to the doctor cause I did tell you ,you could call the doctor and have something fax to him.lies lies lies

                --- cheryl thompson

Our Creed is
RESPECT YOUR CUSTOMERS, TREAT THEM WITH DIGNITY hahaah...should say HARASS THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR CUSTOMERS FOR EVERY STUPID LITTLE THING YOU CAN

RESPECT YOURSELF
hahahah...well we can try, but no one else does

RESPECT THE LAW
hahahah...Don't get caught breaking the law the way me MAKE you -cuz we'll just deny everything and fire your ass!
RESPECT YOUR CO-WORKERS
hahahah...hahahahahaha....HAHAHAHAHA!!!
                --- "Anon"


He always on my salary day says "The cheque is in the mail". And I get it in next month.
                --- abhijit

Our company policy is a total lie. It states that:
We take the time to do it right the first time.
We provide customers with products and service that meets or exceeds their expectations, and
We continuously improve our quality, efficiency, and customer satisfaction.
HA!!!!
It would be truer to say:
There's never enough time to do it right, but there's always enough time to do it over.
We provide products and service that barely squeek by our customers expectations.
And we contiuously change things so that no one knows what the hell is going on.

                --- Nytedragon

xxxx
                --- x


I work in television and I am frequently ASKED TO LIE by my boss!
                --- TV

I've been told it; but I don't believe it:
There is a wage freeze in effect while we conduct a market-based compensation study. They tell this to the masses while they quietly raise the pay of certain individuals or groups.

I know. I've seen the new convertible BMWs, Range Rovers, and other pricey vehicles in the parking lot...
                --- She-Ra


My boss blamed late paychecks on the accountant's not getting him the checks in time to sign, and the next day blamed deadbeat clients for screwing up his cashflow and thereby screwing my bank account an extra day....so don't get me started on the 6 week delay for my raise and the non-appearing "profit sharing/bonus" or 401-K set up...
                --- Sparky

"After you're trained into this new possition, we'll settle on your raise."
                --- Gloria Ann

I could see my employer's nose grow when the memo came out that said they had installed SurfWatch on our computers to help prevent access to inappropriate sites. They said the reason was to prevent the possibility that an employee might have something offensive to others up on their screen that could be inadvertently seen by another, more tenderhearted employee who might sue the company if offended.

I don't believe that for a minute! They want to monitor a lot more than that!

I guess your site isn't on their hit list yet...
                --- She-Ra

These are some lies my employer (not by boss as an individual) has told me:
1. We value diversity
2. We are committed to attracting and retaining highly-qualified staff
3. Our employees are our most valuable asset
4. We offer a competitive benefit package

                --- "Anon"


My boss used to listen in on my conversations with other people while I was on the phone!  He would never say that he had been listening and would deny it if I asked him but he was constantly giving me suggestions about how I might respond better in conversations he claimed to have no idea that I had had.
                --- Anon


                --


Click here to add a lie that you, as a BOSS, have told to an employee.


xxx
                --- x


Just a thought. When you have to let good people go (against your will ) Why not bring them in and tell them you have already put the word out with people you personally have a network with? Kind of like 'I hate to let you go, but here are some leads, I am more than willing to give you a good reference with the people I know over there." Like I said, just a thought....
                --- Sumo


For a while after a reorg I had become the hatchet man on the company. Pretty much anyone transferred into my department was slated for termination. Some were reasonable, others political, yet others unexplainable. It was the role I had to play. A week in my dept. and then "the talk" (aka: the lie) Something like this: I've been struggling to find the place where you belong in the organization, but try as I might, I can't find anything that will do justice to your skills and level of experience. Believe me, it is painful to see good people go, but I can't justify your salary anymore. I know you'll land on your feet, I mean, someone with your qualifications won't be in the market for a week!...

I must have told this lie to maybe thirty or forty people.
                --- no name

No changes will be made. You can take me at my word. Honest.
                --- Mr. Boss


I'm now forced to hire workers of such low quality that I should feel completely free to lie to them whenever I want. I only lie to them to motivate their lazy asses anyway.
                --- Richard


Why can't people just get to work and stop griping!
                --- James

 

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Our Thanks to Matt Wright for the original forms script.
Additional perl and cgi scripts can be found at Matt's Script Archive

 

 

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