"Honey, I am so sorry that I was not home earlier, I was really drunk, don't even know how I made it to the airport where I got sick and vomited.  When I got back in my car to come home, I passed out behind the wheel before I even got the key in the ignition.  I just woke up 15 minutes ago."

He told me all this was at 4:35 in the morning after I had been home with his three kids that he was supposed to have for a visitation weekend.

Yeah, right!

Vomited indeed... I just wonder from which body organ!