|I had a friend visiting from out of town
while I was in my junior year of high school. I went to school that morning very
I was thinking of all the sights to
show my buddy. So, as usual, I wasn't paying attention to my math teacher. Of
course, she calls on me to solve some problem on the board. I say "Mrs. Brown,
I honestly don't know how solving this equation will help me in the future." I was
going for the cheap laughs. (C'mon., I already admitted I didn't know the answer). Anyway,
she exploded. She proceeded to call me a loser, tell me I would never get into
college, and that I would be lucky if I got a job digging ditches for the rest of my life.
All of this, in front of the class.
So, needless to say, I was bummed and humiliated for the rest of the
day. I went home, saw my friend, who was dating a hairdresser chick at the time, and
he said, "I know how to cheer you up! Tracy taught me the latest style in hair; I
think I have it down. Let me give you a trim." So I let him... but I didn't
want my hair to shed on the carpet, so I grabbed
a paper bag from the kitchen and collected it as he cut. Sure enough, the next day I go to
school, and instead of grabbing the paper bag full of my lunch, I grab the one with hair.
I discover my blunder at lunch, and go hungry. Then, walking into the restroom I get
an idea. MATH was my next period, so, on a whim, I start putting the cut off hair back on
my head. Static electricity makes it stick. I put most of it back in my hair
and no one could tell 'cause it is really stuck in there. I then went to math class.
About ten minutes into the period I pulled out my brush and started brushing my hair. You
guessed it...the girl behind me freaked, tapping my shoulder and saying "Ohmigod...
your hair is falling out." The teacher finally yelled "IS THERE A
PROBLEM?" At which point I began to fake cry, announcing I had a rare sickness, one
that was fatal, and caused your hair to fall out. Keep in mind, this was ONE day
after she had humiliated me in front of the class. The next day she brought
brownies... in honor of me! As luck would have it, we moved out of state shortly
after, but imagine the look on her face when I returned a year and a half later to
graduate from my old stomping grounds, robust and healthy.
This is a true story. How could I make that one up? I'm not proud of it.