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Our Parents Told Us


Enter The Lie An Older Relative Told You
Click on MOM&DAD to send in a lie that you heard from either or both of your parents.  
Click on OTHERS to send in a lie from ANY older person who lied to you when you were a child: teachers, aunts, uncles, grandparents, older brothers and sisters, etc.


these are directly from Mom or Dad

I used to love playing outside when it rained. My dad hated the mess I made coming inside and getting everything wet. So he told me that lightening has eyes and if it seen any children out in the rain it would kill them.
                --- Me

my mom name jeanette she lie so much she told me early that she would take me to the store in get something she always lieing about something why do she lie so much can u please tell me what's up with that.
                --- jennifer

My dad always told me that if I sat on concrete I'd get hemmoroids.
                --- Rachel

My stepfather told me that Jewish woman had teticles and if i married a jewish woman, i would get Hepatitis
                --- Andy

My stepfather told me that black people have tails. Also, he told me that if i touched a black woman she would stain my skin wherever she touched me
                --- Andy

My stepfather told me that Nelson Mandella was in jail because he raped white women
                --- Andy

My stepfather told me that my mother had a sister but got hit by a steamroller because she touched his dip snuff
                --- Andy

My Stepfather told me that if his touched his cigarettes, he would kill my favorite cousin Nicole
                --- Andy

my dad lied by telling me that my mom drinked when i was only 2 and now i fould out that he hasbeen lieing to me about her for years what should i do?
                --- jasmine

My adoptive parents always let me know that if they hadn’t adopted me I would have been burned in the furnace, in the basement of the (Catholic) church. They implied that they could “return” me at any time ... to suffer the same fate. They told me that “... if I was bad” the nuns who taught at my school could decide the same fate for me, and that they wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. It was always my choice – to be burned alive or to conform.

I’m 45 years old; I’m the principal caregiver for my 86 year old mother. I don’t believe the lies ... I’ve decided to be better than the liars are!
                --- Edward Wenzer

When I was little,and when I got mum mad,she used to told me that she made me, and she will kill me. I still hope she was lieing.
                --- Castor

When I was growing up my stepfather would always take my money my grandparents gave me and say he was putting it in the bank for me. When I asked about it one day he gave me a "bank statement" that said I had fifty thousand in the bank. Of course now I realize that was impossible as my grandparents were genrous but not THAT generous.
So many lies, so much time...
                --- Val

When I was 7 my stepfather told me that if you took off your clothes in a department store dressing room, there were people behind the wall who would pop out and drag you off...then they would dip you in wax and turn you intoto a mannequin.
                --- Val

When I was 5, my mother bought me a huge stuffed pumpkin for Haloween. My stepfather convinced me that when I went to sleep, the pumpkin came to life and if I wasn't careful one day it would crawl up into my bed and kill me while I slept.
                --- Val

when I was growing up there was a fountain down the street from us that had several bronze statues of little boys in swimsuits set out to look like they were playing in the water. My mother told me they were little boys who had frozen out there during the winter.
                --- Val

My stepfather told me that if my foot touched the edge of the escalator it would slice my toes off. I blieved it until I was about 8 or 9,. and even though I now know it isn't true, I still have to jump from the last step to avoid touching the teeth of the escalator (and I am almost 19)
                --- Val

My father told me that the Venus de Milo lost her arms because of excessive nail-biting.
                --- "Anon"

i caught them making sex and they told me that they were looking for a sock

                --- anon

There is no category for lies we told to our children so here goes. When my then five year old son came home from kindergarten one day expounding at length a series of bigoted beliefs about Chinese people I told him he couldn’t say those things because he was part Chinese (actually his mom was from India, me a white American). Stopped his parroting bigoted statements, to us at least, and I think to anyone about any race. He continued believing he was part Chinese for many years thereafter.
                --- herb

When I was alittle kid my dad used to tell me that a hairy, black, scary monster with huge fangs used to hang out in our garden at night. He would make me scared even to LOOK outside at night.I remember he used to draw me pictures of what it looked like. Then when I was a little older I had a cat that I loved very much. He was really a mentally messed-up little thing. One day I brought home 2 new cats and he just snapped! My parents had to get rid of him. One day I came home from school and they told me my cat had gone to the vet and the vet wanted to keep him there permanently to do some tests on him and help him get better. I swear I cried for weeks and wrote poetry to my cat and drew pictures of him. Many years later I found out that my mom and my older sister had actually taken him to a nearby park and just let him loose, hoping someone would get him. My mom said they went back either later that day or the next day (can't remember) and they didn't see him. They assumed someone picked him up. I felt so dissapointed but I realize if I had known that when I was little I would've freaked out even more than I did and would've been begging them to take me to the park to go get him.
I never did forget about that cat. :(

                --- tell u no lies

Until I was 19, I thought my mother was in fact my mother. Then my father told me that my real mother died shortly after I was born. My entire extended family kept this secret for 19 years. No one ever showed me my mother's picture or told me anything about her. I have been estranged from my toxic family for many years, and my father is dead. I will never be able to know my history. I am a 58 year old man without a family history.
                --- Bud

My dad used to say that he would pick us up and take us to places. He never showed up or called.

He said that he would pick me up some deoderant from the store, he never did.

My mom used to say that she was cooking my favorite meal for dinner. It was always something nasty like okra or liver that I hated.

My mom used to say that she was taking my jewelry or VCR in for repair or cleaning. She would go and pawn it.

My mom used to say that my dad never paid child support. He did and she spent it on herself.

My mom used to say that Video game systems like Nintendos ruined televisions. She just said that so she wouldn't have to buy us one.

My mom said that she was getting me a credit card for graduation. She got it for herself and used my name. She spent the $500 credit limit and gave it to me with a balance already on it.

She said I didn't use your ATM card and took money out of your account or put an empty envelope in the ATM, but they had her on tape at the bank.
                --- "Anon"

My mother used to tell my two sisters and I that if we drank our Cod Liver Oil, we'd have big breasts when we grow up. We drank our Cod Liver oil without much fuss from then on... but it only worked for one of us!
                --- Eve

"You will have a happy life."
                --- danielle

My mom said I would go blind if I didn't stop playing with it---But I have perfect vision.
                --- JT_Travis

My mom told me she found me in the garbage can. It made me cry. then she laughs at me.
                --- anon

My mom told me she found me in the garbage can. It makes me cry. then she laughs at me.
                --- anon

Every so often when I got ready for school I would notice Tweety lying on the bottom of the cage, or hanging upside down from his perch. Mom would put him in a paper bag and take him to the doctor. When I got home from school, Tweety would be fine. Sometimes he was a different color, but that's what the bird medecine does sometimes. Don't take any bird medecine!

When I was about 5 yrs old my Father told me that the grease spots in the driveway were little kids who had been run over by cars because they didn't listen when their parents told them not to play in the driveway. I believed him for years and used to stare at the grease spots and wonder who they used to be.
                --- Michelle

My mother used to leave me and my brothers at different peoples houses, I would ask her when she was returning, she always replied"dark -thirty" I still don't know when dark thirty comes.
                --- Jimmie

This one is true...

I had a cow named "8-ball." (Because she was black and had a white spot on her forehead.)I would walk down to the pasture every few days to feed her and try to ride her.

One day, 8-ball wasn't there so I went back up to the house where mom was fixing supper... I frantically asked, "Mom?? Where's 8-ball ?!?" As she placed my plate on the table she replied, "Shut up and eat your hamburger."

                --- Lee

my mum used to say if yu picked your nose you would turn into a crow
                --- "Anon"

my parents said that if i ate peanuts my penis would get bigger, but instead it got smaller.
                --- spen

When I was 11, we moved into an older house with a gas furnace in the basement. When the thing turned on, it would make a sound like a bull elephant in rut, and I never really caught on to what it was. I asked my Dad, and he told me that it was the Glorch, who lived under the stairs leading down to the basement. I never went down into the basement alone after that unless I really, really needed to.

I only realized that it must have been the furnace after we had been out of that house for a few years.
                --- Carl Hamlin

When he was a child, my boyfriend's parents told him that if he picked his nose, he would get leukemia.
They also told him that if he took communion at church and he "wasn't right with God", the juice would burn his throat.
                --- "Anon"

When we were little, my brother and I got two white rabbits for Easter, we named them Peter and Cottontail. They had to go live with my grandparents on their farm in Oklahoma, since that's where animals live, of course. We always looked forward to seeing our rabbits when we visited the farm. Sometimes they would be big ("fat" as my father said), sometimes they would have babies, and sometimes they would be much smaller ("they lost weight" as Dad said). We were told our granddad sold the babies to other kids in town. One day I found the rabbit skins hanging in his garage, and was later told the "chicken" we ate at dinner wasn't really chicken. We had been eating our rabbits for years. This is a true story.
                --- "Anon"

When I was little, any time I asked a question and my Mom answered it, I would ask her how she knew that. And she would say, every time, "Because I'm Mother Nature".

Now, I knew this wasn't true, mostly. And always tried to come up with questions to stump her.

(While at the same time boasting to my friends that my Mom was Mother Nature.)

Eventually I got her, but not until I was around 11. And when she answered "I don't know" I screamed and ran around the house yelling "You're not Mother Nature!!" over and over again.

I remember she pulled that on me once years later, after I'd moved out and was living on my own. When she said "I'm Mother Nature" I immediatly accepted it, and had to laugh when I realized what I'd done.
                --- Emu

When I was 19 and home from college for the summer, my father told me that my mother was not my real mother; he said that my biologic mother died shortly after my birth, from complications. This secret/lie had been perpetuated by all my relatives in a conspiracy of silence headed by my parents who, for reasons I have never been able to figure out, held sway over the extended family.

This matter was never discussed again. My father died without ever even showing me a picture of my real mother or telling me anything about her. Obviously, he made it clear to me in countless ways, that it was never my place to ask him anything about her.
                --- "Anon"

I'm an ER nurse, and frequently hear parnets tell their squirming children that if they're not good that I'll give them a shot. I finally figured out a way for this to backfire on them. Last week, when another parent told this lie. I told the child that if I had to give them a shot, that mommy would take her to Dairy Queen after they left. I got a dirty glance from mom, but I think that she understood how powerful statements from adults can be.
                --- Greg

My birth mother died when I was 14 months old. My father remarried 3 months later. All my life, my father would tell me how much he loved my birth mother. How, after her cancer diagnosis, they took all these trips to make her happy. She was the love of his life, etc, etc. My father's comments were all the information I had about my birth mother. Six months before he died, he decided to unload his conscience so he could die in peace. He told me he and my birth mother had been separated for several months before her death. He had become involved with another woman and my mother left him. All he told me had been one lie upon another. I now know nothing about my birth mother other than her name and where she died. This lie pierced my heart.
                --- Servilan

When I was little, I always swallowed my gum, that is, until my Mama saw me. She scared me into quitting this habit by telling me that if I swallowed my gum, my insides would stick together!
                --- Holly

You didn't say that Matt, Karl MArx did
                --- sa

If I need money, And I know she didn't get pay so long ago, and she doesn't want to give to me. She would say" I don't have no money right now", when you know you saw some in her purse.
                --- michlle p

Biggest lie: that a college degree (major wasn't specified) would bring me great success. Well, I graduated 10 years ago from a state school with a dumbass liberal arts degree and I have been miserable and unsuccessful at the last 10 jobs I have had.
                --- lew

I was born horribly sick. My mother tried to console me by telling me that I would get well in ten years. I didn't.
                --- "Anon"

As I got older I did not blive in Santa any more. My mom told me that if i did not belive that i would never get any gifts for Christmas. I was 7 at the time.
                --- Sarna

Once, when I was really little, I was sick with a virus and threw up violently. Afterward, my mother said to me, "See? That's what happens from sucking your thumb." Mom says I never sucked my thumb again.

                --- "Anon"

When I was about 6 ,My Dad told me he liked Tea Cakes ,so I decided to make one.
In a baking dish ,that already had dripping, I added in sugar,flour,eggs and a packet of tea.
I asked my big sister to light the gas stove so I could cook a cake.
I was most upset when she wouldn't because Dad had told me that tea cakes were made with tea.

                --- Les in Australia

When I was about 4, my mother always seemed to know what I was upto even if I didn't see her looking.She told me she had EYES IN THE BACK OF HER HEAD!!! well i can remamber actually looking for these eyes!!
                --- Bernadette,Australia

When my Mum said "a little bird had told me...."
I knew darnwell(after I turned 7!)that one of my sisters had dobbed me in!!!
                --- Bernadette,Australia

When I was about 9 my Dad started to lose some hair right at the top of his head in a small circle.
I asked him was he going bald? and he replied No, he sometimes has to carry boxes ,or balance heavy things on his head at work and it RUBS OFF.
I am 37 now, he still has the circle there and still swears blind the hair rubbed off too many times to grow back!!
                --- Bernadette

My friend was driving one day with her daughter in the car. She saw a bunny running alongside
the road and told her daughter, "Look, its the Easter Bunny!" About that time, the bunny changed directions, and a definite THUMP was heard. The child started bawling uncontrollably, screaming, "MOMMY!! YOU JUST KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY!"
                --- "Anon"

My mom used to tell me if you pop zits on your face, they explode into your bloodstream and one day, you'll die from all that poison.
                --- Jennifer

"I will always love and support you no matter what happens"
                --- "Anon"

"If you sit on the toilet too long, tape worms will go up your butt and you'll die."
"Everything will be alright"
"There are no such things as monsters"
"Your father and I love you"
                --- Anon

My mom told me that woman have handbags because they have cameras in there and that if we are misbehaving it will be on our record forver
my dad told me at Old buffet that the platesd just disappear. age12
                --- Jessica

My mother tell me that she doesn think I am weird after years of tell me about all my faults and making fun of me, and acting like i am a curse to her is trying to be nice to me now that I am soon going to be on my own and when i remind her of the things she said in the past acts like they never happened. She now expects me to talk to her now like a friend when she made my teenage years hell, when I never hardly gave trouble guess my only crime was not being just like the popular kids. She keeps telling me that I am not going to adjust well in the world that I need her to guide me , she really means control me .
                --- crazy boy

When I was about 8 years old and very gulible, my dad took me to a neighbor's house for dinner. He told the adults that my cat had died that week and set up this "joke". When I came to the table, the host announced that the entree' for the meal was Roast Cat. I was convinced that he was telling the truth because my dad was going along with it all. Finally I was crying so hard that everyone was embarrassed and I had to return home without eatting.
                --- Gloria Ann

When I was younger I had this habit of sucking my thumb and sticking my finger in my belly button. To get me to stop sucking my thumb my mother told me that I one day I would suck my thumb too much and fill up with air and explode. To get me to stop playing with my belly button she and my father told me that I would unbotton my my belly botton. And that my stomach woould fall out. I haven't touched it since.
                --- Nai

my parents well actually my mom told me that if i was always singing in the kitchen, i would marry an old man.
                --- Celestrial Coren

when i was young, i had a placemat that i frequently used, with a depiction of a dinosaur on it. for some unexplored reason, i'd always stab that dinosaur with my fork during supper. my parents told me that if i stabbed it enough times, then the dinosaur would be released from the placemet, and would messily devour me.
                --- scott

My mom used to hit me with whatever she could find and she would always say, "This is for your own good!"
                --- "Anon"

god exists and sees all

i said "man created god so that means he don't exists"
                --- Matt

The fact is, I no longer need to be pissed about this one, but I am. My mom handed me my dinner when I was about ten years old and there were little black ants crawling all over the cauliflour. I said, "Mom, there are ants all over this."

"Eat it," she said. "They're good for you."

Is that a lie? Some cultures will say no, they eat ants all the time. I'm an American and I try to eat ants a seldomly as possible.

Mom's dead now so I can let this one know. I just need to acknowledge that it hurt my self-esteem to think that my mom valued me so little that she would ask me to eat a plate full of ants. Now the fact is she drank a lot of vodka and may very well, under those circumstance, have been doing her best.

                --- "Anon"

                --- CAMILLE

When I was very young, my dad used to disappear for days in a row and I would ask him, "Where you going?" And he would reply, "To where the wild things are." And this would sound very exciting to me and I would ask, "Can I come?" And he would reply, "No, you are too young for wild things."
                --- Chris

When I was like 2 and a half or three my dad went deer hunting, the night he got home from his hunting trip he called me outside and showed me a dead deer in the back of his truck and told me that it was Bambie's mom
                --- Melissa

these are from Uncles, Aunts, Cousins, Syblings etc.

I had a rabbit named Peter Cottentail when I was younger. Since I lived in an apartment, I had to send the rabbit to live with friends. What I didn't know, was these friends liked the taste of rabbits, and they canned them for the winter. My parents told me the rabbit cage was hit by lightening. It took me years to figure out what really happened.
                --- Me

When I was 7,one of my mothers best friend's daughter (she was 9)was jealous that I had 2 dimples because she only had one. So she told me people with 2 dimples worshiped the devil. I cried so hard. I screamed, I don't want to worship the devil, I don't want to go to hell. After I stopped crying and could see through my tears. I saw her laughing at me.
                --- Tigresssphinx

My dad told me when i was little that if you ate the seeds out of a watermelon that a watermelon would grow inside your stomach. I was always scared i would accidentally swallow one.
                --- lacy

When I was little, my older brother used to tell me that if you touch that red thing hanging off of a turkey's chin it would burn you.... I STILL (at 21 yrs old) don't go near turkeys' red things.

Did you know that cats can see in the dark because their eyes are green?? Got me with that one too... >=(

And if a black snake bites you in the same place a poisonous snake bites you (we lived in some snake-y places growing up) it would suck out the venom...

A dog licking your wounds will cause it to heal faster...

...the list goes on and on...

                --- Lee

There so many lies my brother still tells me...I am 18 and he is 20 and we work together at Winn-Dixie (a gocery store) well he always tells me that the boss his mad at me and wants to speak to me or The store is closed down for the day so I dont have to go to work..and I know they are all lies
                --- Tammy

My uncle is five years older than me.....he lived on a farm when I was little. He used to tell me if I touched the tadpoles I would turn into a frog. He also told me mere puddles of water were acid and that if I touched them, my fingers would fall off... of course I believed him, I adored him... one more, he told me that at night, on the farm.... the man with the white face, (Im assuming, now, that this man was Jason voorhies, or perhaps mike meyers..) would come get all us little girls with blond hair and blue eyes...

                --- the marykae person

This lie was from an old dictionary my mom had around the house: My best friend and I looked up "fart" and the definition given was, "A slight explosion between the legs." Now, don't you consider this to be a lie?
                --- Sharon

My best friend, Lora, got a prank phone call when we were about 5. A man told her to stick her hands down her pants, then lick her hand. We both thought that would kill you.
                --- Sharon

I used to babysit my younger cousins, who were (compared to me) pretty spoiled -- they had a Nintendo. The youngest one was barely old enough to hold the controller, but old enough to demand "his turn". All he'd do is just move back and forth, jump repeatedly in place, etc. It was excruciating to watch, and he could take forever. So I started to tell him about "secret tricks" to get super power-ups, unlimited free men, etc, "tricks" which all involved falling down holes, jumping on spikes or getting hit by fireballs.

Why was he dying quickly instead of getting free men? "You're not doing it right."

Why didn't I use any of the secret tricks? "I'm a master, and I need a bigger challenge."

                --- Darren Z.

At the Supermarket a little boy approached my mother. He said, "How did you get so tall?"
She replied, " I eat a lot of spaghetti." He ran back to his mom and convinced her to buy spaghetti. That was funny because she does not eat spaghetti at all.
                --- MERG

I asked my aunt one time what the rumbling noise in my grandparents' house was that I heard (it was actually the heater starting up). She told me that there was a dragon in the crawlspace underneath the house, and that my grandparents used to have ten kids, but my grandfather got mad at five of them and fed them to the dragon.
                --- "Anon"

My girlfriend parents told her that I'm sleeping with a girl that my girlfriend know it's not true but they keept drilling that I slept with the girl so now my lonovia is starting to believe now
                --- Antonio Smith

When I was about 13 and "maturing" I was asking about tampons, this was in the early "70's and we'd not long got stick on pads!!So anyway, trying to get info out of adults was hard.Finally , I was told I couldn't use tampons because I had not had a baby.
This was a euphamism for not having had sex.Which we now know makes no difference, but back then everyone talked in riddles.
Like you couldn't have older women friends(if you were 17 girl) who were "divorced" it meant they had had sex and might tell you how good it was and lead you astray, (or the old) they've already had sex so they must want more!!!So they'll lead you astray!!!!
                --- Bernadette in Australia

I was told when I was younger by my aunt that if you stepped on someone's grave in a cemetary, that you would die the same way they did.
                --- Craig

When I was a kid my sister told me that if I cried at night in my bed the boogyman would crawl under the blankets from the foot of the bed and pull me out and drown me in a river. I was so scared of this that I kept all of my stuffed animals at the foot of my bed so they could hold the blankets down and keep the boogyman out.
                --- Griselda

When I was a kid my cousins told me that earwigs can crawl into your ear and up to your brain. They said the bugs would eat your brain and cause your forehead to pulsate and glow until your head exploded. Needless to say, I feared earwigs my entire childhood.
                --- Griselda

My grandmother told me, at a tender and impressionable age(say, 7) that we were having alligator for dinner. This fact was confirmed by my grandfather. I, at first, refused to eat it, but recalled that I had consumed "mountain oysters" only a week or so before and thus dove in. I told many unbelievers at school and held fast to the belief despite all. Over the course of two months I ate and enjoyed the 'gator(roast beef). Once I commented that the exotic dish seemed unusually salty and responded she:"Must be Crocodile."
It was definately a Croc o' Something!!!

As an appendix, I will add that I was not amused to learn that Ox-tail soup did not involve innocent tails of Oxen.
                --- Colma Perkinz

These are from various TEACHERS!!!

Don't sweat that poor grade on your midterm. I am certain that you'll do much better on the final.

Come by my office any time. I'm always available.

You can make a killing as a stockbroker.

Don't worry if you can't remember that formula.

The main thing on the test is that you grasp the intuition.

It doesn't matter what I think; write what you believe.

If you come to all the lectures, you'll do just fine.

My other section is much better prepared than you guys.

What's your problem? Any moron can understand this.

Don't worry about that final grade. No one will care anyway.

Of course, I make a lot investing. I only teach so I can help young people.

                --- TEACHERS LIE

When I was a kid, I used to sleep at my grand mother's because my parents were working late and she was a little weirdo. She always told me to go to bed early or something really bad was going to happen. She looked so serious for the little kid I was that I listened to her. But some day, I thought I was old enough to decide whether i was going to bed early or not. My grand mother never told me what bad could happen to me and still I was a little scared. Then she came sit next to me and said; "When I was young, my mom used to tell me to go to sleep the most early I could. I asked her why and she said that "le bonhomme sept-heures" (the 7 o'clock man) was going to take me far away to his house and keep me in a room where I could never sleep again because all that I would see was werewolves and witches, and, until the end of my life, I would have horrible nightmares." I became really scared because I knew she told me about her brother that has disappeared when she was a little kid. Now I know that's all a lie and her brother die of tuberculosis and the "bonhomme sept-heures" never existed and never will.
                --- Alex

I was told by my ploitically in-correct brother, that the theme song from the "Andy Griffith" show was whistled by David Bowie,and... I believed him.
                --- tracy greenberg

My grandma always told me that if I crossed my eyes a lot, eventually they were going to stick that way.
                --- Michelle

When I was younger my Uncle told me that Roaches would swing down from his ceilling and suck all the liquid out of my eyes!!!
                --- Brandy

My step-brothers told me that muskrats lived in this ol' abandoned house, and they'd eat your clothes off.
                --- XmikeX

LOTS MORE!! Click here to see them.


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