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Lies
Women Tell Men

 

This tidbit of knowledge should be reserved for the forthcoming Secrets Men Keep From Women Page, but since it will be useful in understanding the effect of Lies Women Tell Men, I will tell you the secret:
Men almost always believe whatever they are told by women.

Send In Your Lie
please include the word "lie" in the subject

 

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Some Lies Women Tell Men
from:please leave me 'Anon'

They are about the same as the ones men tell women.

I have told some doozies in my time, and I am only 18!

Classic breakup lies:
1) You are too good for me, you deserve someone better.

It means: You are smothering me, go buy a puppy

2) I am a commitment phobic.

It means:  And even if I wasn't I wouldn't want to be with you.

3) I don't want a boyfriend.

It means: I want several

And the best of all: "We are just friends."

 

 

She Was A Lair And A Thief

from:

Tim

Here is one for your archives!  I was going out with this girl for about a year, we moved in together after about the first two months. Anyway things always came up throughout the year that I just dismissed as most guys would, like her friends telling me various stories about different guys. Anyway, she moves to Connecticut for about two months on business. The whole time we were in touch and was there for her. Finally, I go out there to bring her back after the two months were up. I step off the plane (by the way, I live in Los Angeles) and immediately, I know something is up. She just gives me a hug, and say's "come on let’s go." Now I was in Connecticut, and I was ether asked to wait in the car or introduced as "a friend." So my wheels start turning, trying to figure out what was going on.

I come to find out she had made a guy friend while she was there. Bingo! It's so obvious, right guys? I must have asked her a dozen times what was up with her and this guy, always the same response, say it with me now: "we're just friends." So I let it go, knowing that she would slip up sooner or later. So I come to find out one night after sleeping with her, that she might be pregnant! I said "oh really, and who might the luck guy be, because it certainly can't be me." Guess who! I just said that I knew it all along and that she had to be out by Saturday. This was just the beginning. On top of finding out that she cheated on me there, I found out, after some interrogation, that this wasn't the first or even second time she had done this while we were together. So I kicked her out. One week later I go to the ATM to get some money out. Empty! All my money was gone! So I called the bank to see what was going on, and I found out that she had done it! So I got all the info, and once I got all my facts straight I called her. When she answered, I asked here straight out why she emptied my account. She asked what I was talking about, and how I could do that to her. So I presented her with the evidence, and told her that she had better stop lying, because I had already reported her to the police. Silence followed as she knew she was caught in the lie. It turns out that she broke into my house, stole my pin number, and emptied my account. I made her pay me back, but you know what the funny thing was, she blamed all of it on me for kicking her out. She said that it was so hard to make ends meet. Liars never want to take responsibility for their actions, and she was the worst. She had no remorse, or any kind of feelings for what she had done. So guys watch out for those black widows they'll sneak up on you, and when that happens, the only thing you can do is use their lies against them!

NO LIFE LIES
from:
LNBROWN19

I AM NOT THE ONE WITH A GLAMOROUS LIFE AT ALL.   I LIVE IN THE WASHINGTON D.C. AREA WHERE THERE IS A LOT OF EXCITEMENT AND CLUBS AND SUCH.   MOST OF WHICH I HAVE NEVER ATTENDED AND FURTHERMORE I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE THEY ARE LOCATED.  WELL MY BOY FRIEND, ON THE OTHER HAND, IS A PARTY ANIMAL AND I AM REALLY JEALOUS.  SO INSTEAD OF TELLING THE TRUTH (I DO NOTHING BUT SIT IN MY ROOM, TALK ON THE PHONE AND WATCH VIDEOS ALL DAY), I LIE.  I SPEND A LOT OF TIME ON THE INTERNET.  HAVING ONLY ONE PHONE LINE IN MY HOUSE MEANS THAT WHEN YOU'RE ON THE INTERNET AND SOMEONE IS TRYING TO CALL FROM AN OUTSIDE LINE, THE PHONE JUST RINGS AND RINGS AND RINGS.  WHEN MY BOYFRIEND ASKS WHERE I'VE BEEN ALL DAY (SOMETIMES LATE AT NIGHT) I LIE AND TELL HIM I WENT OUT TO SEE THE STRIPPERS AT "THE MIRAGE" OR I WENT OUT TO EAT WITH THE LADIES AT "HOUSTON'S".  HE THINKS I LEAD A VERY INTERESTING LIFE, WHEN IN FACT I LEAVE THE HOUSE MAYBE ONCE A WEEK I'M LUCKY!


How about when you fake an orgasm?   Almost all guys have had a girlfriend fake it on them.  It's just WAY too easy for us to fake it.  OK, lets put it this way: you're out with your boyfriend and you're a little drunk and he wants to make you come, well, the smart thing to do is just fake it.  You don't want to tell him, "sorry you're just not good enough and I had two or more drinks, so how about next time."  NO!  We just fake it and everything is OK. 

Most guys have come against this brick wall before, they just don't want to admit it.   ( as far as having someone fake on them and having to fake themselves).

FAKING THE SHAKING LIE

from: Marie (26), Jessica (28), & Sean (26 male)

 

Very Busy Lie
From: Rockford Stone

Clueless as I am, it took me the first 31 years of my life to uncover this lie -- and it wasn't by deduction. I read about it in a book -- one of those self-help books for the pathetic. Here's the lie:  When a woman says she would like to see you -- she may even seem enthusiastic about it, but she is busy -- very very busy, and she will call you back some time when she isn't so busy.

Lies People Tell will normally correct typos and make submission easier to read but there is something really charming and confessional about the errors in this submission. Notice the words that Tony capitalizes.  Notice the ones he does not capitalize.

If typos and errors annoy you, please scroll down to the next entry.

This Girl Lie
from:
Tony

Well I was seeing this Girl and at first the relationship was excellent, but then after a week or two it started to fade. I really Liked the girl too, I mean she was Beautiful, Intelligent, trustworthy (I thought) and I though we were prefect together.. So what went wrong?? Well My lazy self... I didn't hang out with her all the times she wanted to and like when we were going to hang out I had to attend other events.. But I did hang out with her and when we hung out we went to the movies,drove around with my friends, and go to the beach. At first I was a little nervous to just come out and Kiss her, You can Kind of say that I had a case of   cold feet.. since my last relationship with someone.. But I eventually Kissed her in the theater and It was very nice to me at least. Then my friend drove her home and then we kissed again for a few minutes before She went in the house. I was thinking this was going to work out .. but it didn't .. I just felt it wasn't working out so I called her up on the telephone and It was hard for me to say it but I asked her if she just wants to be friends and she was Like . Yeah ok no problem I felt the same way.

So that was fine and then we became friends. Then I find out from sources that she went with a guy and he caressed her (My friend!) and she likes some other guy too! And she compares how much inferior I am to him Physically , while i was having a relationship with her. She said a lot of stuff on how she thinks I'm scrawny, weak, and that he is going to be ripped out of the picture.. That got me real angry , because I have gotten hurt in the past by several girls and I thought she was different and I could trust her..     But I was wrong, I would have liked it better if she were to be honest with me and tell me during the relationship or tell me after.. but I had to hear it from someone else :-(

So I got very angry at her and refuse to talk to her and when I did talk to her I was very mean. I thought and I thought and said maybe it's a rumor.. that she didn't say and do all that stuff when I had the relationship with her... So I apologize and explain why I was mad. I told her that I heard a rumor, but instead of dropping the subject she persistently interrogated me about what the rumor was.  And I'm a man of my word so  I refused to tell her what it was.  But just then I told her not to tell the person that I had talked to her. But she did tell the person that I talked to her. (And I have evidence that she did do the following things during the relationship) I just wanted to know why she did  these things to me when I trusted and Liked her.  I would never betray and back stab her like she did to me.. I just wanted to know why she lied to me like that? I treated her right! Please help me out Bubble..


the Bubble replies:

Dear Tony,

It sounds like this girl REALLY put you through the wringer!  OUCH!!!  And what about that friend of yours: PIG!!

I don't think you need any help with this.  The only suggestion I can make is that you allow yourself to continue meeting and dating lots of girls. Next time, however, do not mention the dreaded "just friends" line.  If they are going to do it, let them  -- you are begging for trouble if you bring it up first.

Thanks very much for sending in that story -- and I'm sorry she back stabbed you.  If she called you scrawny it's probably just because she is insecure about something regarding her own body.  It has nothing to do with you.  There are tons of chicks out there waiting for you to find them!!

Thanks,
The Bubble

Being Married Lie
From: Raving Lunatic

I don't mind if a woman I happen to be dating is divorced (it's the children they have I mind), but I hate when they initially deny ever being married   and then later, casually add that they had been married, as if they had never lied about it in the first place. What do these women expect to get out of such lies? Do they think I am going to have an ounce of respect for them after lying to me? Perhaps if I were a fellow liar I'd be more forgiving. But then I'd be a liar, and what is the point of living if you are nothing but a goddamned liar?


How about when a woman has to tell the man she is having sex with that his cum tastes good?   It really  tastes like a salty slug!   We NEVER like the way cum tastes, but, if we have to, we'll say it's okay, maybe even good.  As long as we make the guy happy.  Just to let you know: it feels like a raw egg!  If we love the guy we might enjoy making him feel good, so we will say, "Yeah, it's great."  BUT we almost never truly want to do it.

"Mmm, TASTES GREAT" LIE

from:
JESSICA (28), CINDI (35) & TERESA (33)

My Boyfriend's Car Lie
from: Raving Lunatic

I had a lousy job when I was 20 or so selling children's books door to door to businesses.  In those days I actually talked to people voluntarily, and the job gave me an opportunity to chitchat with beautiful secretaries. Once (and let me emphasize the word "Once" because I don't want to give the impression that these things happen to a loser like myself often) I managed to get one of these woman to have lunch with me. The lunch with her didn't go great, but it wasn't a disaster. In my eyes, it was a typical mediocre meeting with a woman. When I dropped her off at her job, I don't remember what I was about to say, but at the time, I probably would've asked her for a date regardless of the unlikelihood of her saying yes. She got a shocked look in her eyes, pointed at the opposite side of the parking lot and said "Oooh, that's my boyfriend's car!" She was very shocked, very very shocked. It's people like her that go on to win academy awards. I felt like saying to her that she didn't have to make up stories about boyfriends, that she could've just said, "It was real," and walked. I may be a loser and desperate, BUT I'M NOT A SLOBBERING PERV THAT STALKS WOMEN. WHAT DOES SHE TAKE ME FOR? I didn't say anything about her phantom boyfriend. Just said good-bye and left.

Unexpectedly
Come
To
Town
Lie


from
James R. Bond

If ever after making a date with a woman (usually one you just met) and she accepts and you give her your phone number she will call later and say "A friend has unexpectedly come to town (or will on Sunday) and we can't meet."

I have had that happen to me several times and over heard it several times to employers and other friends.

Just to let women know that men read the same books ...

 
Mob Lady Who Wanted Sperm Lie
From: Anon

As a professor, I was requested to come sleep with a lady who was very sweet   and nice. She was a graduate student who was quite experienced, beautiful, and classy. She was not one of my students. I had made it a practice not to date colleagues or students. I learned later she really had been following me around until I came and saw her that night.  She knew so much about me.

She had a beautiful apartment with pianos, huge book cases, and furniture right out of Wall Street.

She was so beautiful in so many ways. I have never forgotten how beautiful and athletically poised she was with body and spirit. The beautiful lady in the Titanic film so reminds me of her. She also was a wonderful lover. Not just the sex, but also the hugs, touching, and closeness. I melted in her arms. She was so nice. Her hair was straight and long with out a wrinkle in it. Her posture was more perfect than I had ever seen and her teeth, smile and face were sparkling. Her voice had great variance in tone and pitch. She was 5' 9" and about 120 lbs. Measurements were perhaps a 35-22-35. Dark blue eyes. The lipstick was so dark burgundy and matched her short dress. Her perfume was mature and just right. Her vocabulary and gestures indicated she had royalty in her blood.

When we finally made love that first night, she said if I wanted to get to know her more, I would need to know that her former husband works for the mob.

She did not flaunt anything or put daggers into the situation.

I was terrified for a couple of years afterwards. When I left her apartment that night, there was a black Buick outside with a mob-like person in it smoking a cigarette. He looked at me and smiled.

I decided not to continue the relationship.

Later, after six years, I saw this beautiful lady again. Very rich and very sophisticated. She reported to me about that night and said that it was fantastic. She did not want to get too close to me for fear that I would clog her thinking about her real husband. You see, they were not divorced! She is the wife of one of the most wealthy men that I have ever met. She is still married, but without children. She told me that night she wanted to get pregnant by someone who looked sort of like her husband, has brains, and love of arts, and participates in sports, creative activities, and social activities. She said that if she would have conceived a boy that she would have named him after me.

She also told me that her husband wasn’t really a member of the mob. She told me that she had no connection to the guy in the Buick. Just a coincidence, she said. I really was worried.

What I could be sure of during that meeting six years later was that she really did want my baby.  She even showed me her medical reports.  She even knew my doctor and I would not put it passed her to have somehow gotten access to my medical records.

She had left school some three months after we had been together. She had talked with students from my classes, and watched me referee and play softball. I remember her being there, but had no idea I was being stalked for my obvious sperm cells.

My only regret is that we didn't see each other more. I had believed that the mob money was right in front of me after she told me that story.  The richness, the education, the experiences... and her confidence for her age.  She was such a beautiful person.


The Biggest Lie
From: Jim

This site or Zine or whatever this is really pisses me off. Nobody's talking about the biggest lie of all! The biggest lie ever said: I LOVE YOU! Sure, maybe it's not always a lie when people say it but here's one time when some bitch said it to me and was LYING!!

Rebecca and I had been living together for a year. She was taking night classes at the local Jr. College so that she could quit her job at the restaurant because the manager was harassing her and become a Certified Nurse Assistant or something like that and then later she was going to become a Nurse. I told her that she didn't have to worry about money because I'm a mechanic -- hah, you should have a room here called LIES MECHANICS TELL -- you'd sure get a shit load more lies than you have already. Anyway, I just wanted her to know I would support her at what she was doing and if she wanted to just go to school, that was okay by me. I figured if I supported her at school some, maybe I wouldn't have to do so damn many dishes. But she kept her job at the restaurant and went to school.

One night the phone rang. I answered it and it was Rebecca's brother calling to tell Rebecca that Sheila, her sister, had been in a car accident. Her brother wanted Rebecca to meet him at the hospital as soon as she could.

Well Rebecca wasn't home; she was in her "Procedures" class, a three and a half hour night class once a week. So I rush over to the J.C. and find the "Procedures" and go in and Rebecca's not there! "Well where is she?" I ask this smart fuck teacher. He says, "She dropped the class after the second week. She's not even in the program anymore."

So I go back home and leave a note for Rebecca to come to the Hospital when she gets home. Then I rush over to the hospital to see how Sheila is.  I had gotten really close to Rebecca's family.

Several hours later, Rebecca rushes into the hospital waiting room where I had been hugging her crying mom and all that. Turns out the surgeons were able to stitch up this one big nasty gash on Sheila's neck and that she was going to be okay and there was nothing to worry about.

Well, I never told Rebecca that I knew she was lying about going to class all the time.

On the next Wednesday night, the night of the class, I followed her. I was so mad I was ready to kill somebody.

She pulls on up to this Best Western motel!! I knew it. I watched her walk up to a room door and knock. Some guy opens it and she walks in.

Fifteen minutes later I finally calm down enough so that I can get out of the car. I grab a lug wrench from the trunk and walk up to the door and knock.

IT'S, BILL, HER RESTAURANT MANAGER!! I drop the lug wrench 'cause I swear I could've killed him. I punch him in the jaw.  He falls back and I walk into the room.

I look at her in the bed, naked, trying to pull she sheets up around her like I haven't ever seen her in the buff! I look in her face and scream. "Liar." I say it again. "Liar."


Badly Bruised Heart Lie
from: Hamish

Here are my favorite lies of all: "I love you,"  and   "I'm ready to commit to a steady loving relationship with you."  I'm 19 and have already heard this line more times than I can count (So I"m sure the rest of you have heard it.). Here's the most recent. I was became infatuated with this stripper, but I knew that I couldn't have her, so we two became close friends for moral support.  Through her, I met this beautiful girl visiting from Canada, who became my most trusted confidant.  One thing lead to another and we became involved.  She told me, "I love you so much, the distance is just something we'll have to work out, but I've never met a guy like you, and I would be stupid to let you go. I want a relationship." Damn was I happy, I had everything in life that I wanted.  So I flew out to see her, and the first two days were great, then she started to seem kinda strange and by the end of the week, I was there she had dumped me and was already cruising with her best friend for other guys.  her premises for breaking up with me were:

1. age difference (I was 19 she was 16).

2. because of that our lives were so different they didn't mesh.

3. she couldn't commit to a long distance relationship 

4. she didn't want anything too serious then. 

OK- Fine, we all change opinions.  Of course I talked to her two days ago only to interrupt her "date" with her new 20 year old boyfriend from 150 miles away and she had to get back to him because they didn't have much time together.  

In summation:

1. women do not want commitment.

2. women don't have a fucking clue what they want and

3. women do not really love you.

 


REPLY TO THE ABOVE LIE, FROM ANOTHER 19 YEAR OLD

Reply to Badly Bruised Heart Lie
from: Connie

First of all, I want to say I'm very sorry for what happened to you.   No one
really likes to have their hearts crushed into dust unexpectedly. However, I
DO want you to get your facts straight first, before you generalize women in
this way.  This girl was only 16 years old: of course she didn't know what she
really wanted.  To even call her a woman shows what kind of warped sense of
judgement you yourself have.  Some of us real women actually do know EXACTLY
what we want.  You and your kind don't want to have anything to do with us,
because you think we're too stuck up.  Maybe if you date someone your own age
for a change, you never would've made such an assinine statment.
--  Connie, a fellow 19 year old

 

 

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