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Lies Our Parents Told Us

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Several Lies
from: Ashley

I was a very gullible.  I recall a lie that was told by an older girl on my baseball team.  She told me that if I chewed gum that it would remain in my stomach for 25 years.  

My science teacher still tells that same!   He catches at least five kids every day and they always try to swallow their gum.  I still don't know how long it takes to digest gum.

 

When I was little I would also show off to my dad about how I could cross my eyes.   He told me that if I crossed my eyes long enough, they would remain that way forever.  I am still scared to cross my eyes too long.

 

When I was four years old, I stayed at a daycare.  One halloween I was carving pumpkins and I was told that if I ate the seed that a pumpkin would grow in my stomach.  I was quite afraid of that!!

 

 

Don't Suck That Tumb Lie
from: Duane

My parents consistently preached morality and truth-telling to their children, but oh, how they lied to us.  My mother, in particular--by all appearances the most guileless goodie-two-shoes on the planet--excelled at the art of lying to us.  Some of her tried and true deceptions that I heard repeatedly: "Don't make a face like that; if a strong wind comes along, it'll freeze it forever.   

And, for years, every Christmas we'd be shopping in stores and I'd ask her how 'come there were so many Santa Clauses hanging around everywhere. "Oh, those are all his helpers," she'd always say. "He sends them down because the real Santa Clause is busy up in the North Pole getting ready for Christmas."

My personal favorite, though, I don't remember hearing because I was too young, but my mother loves to tell it even now, when I'm in my '40s.  Like many toddlers, I sucked my thumb constantly, and my mother couldn't get me to stop. Once, I was sick with a virus and threw up violently.  Afterward, my mother said to me, "See?  That's what happens from sucking your thumb." Mom says I never sucked my thumb again.


When I was younger I had a rabbit. The cage was too high, so I used a chicken feeder to stand on. One day my mom picked me up from school and had my catatonic rabbit in a crate in the back seat. She told me that it had fallen out of the cage and had broken its neck. So, for years I blamed myself for its death, because I thought it broke its neck on the chicken feeder.  Later, I had a hampster that died and also got the "broken neck" story.  When I reached age thirteen I asked about a question about the "broken neck" stories and found out that our dogs had been the culprit of both "accidents."  My mom told me that she just didn't want me to hate the dogs. So after years of blaming my self, I finally find out the truth.

Dead Pet
Lies

from: Samy


ZOMBIE TOE NAIL LIE

from:
LNBROWN 19

WHEN I WAS A LITTLE KID MY MOTHER USED TO LIE AND TELL ME THAT IF I CLIPPED MY TOENAILS ON SUNDAY AND DIDN'T THROW THEM ALL AWAY, I WOULD RETURN FROM THE DEAD TO CLEAN THEM UP.

HIDING UNDER THE BED LIE
from: Hightower

MY DAD TOLD ME ONE TIME THAT WHEN THE WAR WAS GOING ON THAT HE HID UNDER THE BED. HE DID NOT WANT TO TELL US ABOUT THE WAR.  ALL NINE KIDS BELIEVED THIS STORY FOR A LONG TIME.

SLEEP =

ALLIGATOR LIE

from: Janie

When I was younger, my brother and sister and I would eat while we were sprawled on the sofas or our beds.  Needless to say, crumbs or leftovers would fall on or around the area, and it would be messy all around.  In order to get us to stop eating while sleeping on our bed, my mother would tell us, "If you eat and sleep like that, you will turn into an alligator."  Of course, after hearing that, we avoided doing that at all costs--and we still do.

THE BASEMENT LIE

from: Cindy

We had just moved into a new house, and I was about 7 years old.  My dad and his brothers went into the basement (it was night) and came back up after a long time.  Dad said they found an old trunk down there and it had a body in it.  There was one room in the basement I never went into for the nine years we lived there.

CAT

HAIR

LIE

from: anon

My parents used to tell me that if a cat hair were to enter my nostrils it would reach my brain and either kill me or cause permanent brain damage. I guess they wanted me to quit sleeping with my cat. Not only did I stop sleeping with my cat, I always slept with my nose covered with either my blanket or whatever rag that wasn't always clean to protect myself from any stray cat hairs. I've been told I developed this painfully annoying chronic nasal congestion due to this practice.

Legs & Brains Lie

 

My cousin used to tell me that if I pressed my bellybutton, my legs would fall off. That same cousin used to tell me that if I picked my nose, my brains would fall out.

from:
PumknBlue

WIND LIE

from:
Barbara

When we were young and lived in Southern California, my sisters and I had our youngest sister scared to death of the Santa Ana winds. We told her she was so small that the wind was just going to pick her up and carry her away, and we'd never see her again!! She believed us, and we had her in tears!

Second Classic Watermelon Lie
from Andrew Morgan

When I was younger, my parents told me the reason my pregnant mother's belly was getting so big was because she had swallowed a watermelon seed, and it was growing in her belly.  This was of course before I understood what pregnant was, but I wouldn't let her bring another watermelon in the house until my little brother was born.

When I was little, about four or five years old, I was going around the house one day imitating the braying of a donkey.  In those days, mothers stayed home with their children instead of leaving them with strangers all day.  After a while, she told me to stop making the noise, but I continued braying.  Finally she said, "If you keep making that noise, your ears are going to grow long like a donkey's."  I stopped immediately. Later in my childhood, my mother used this lie when I wanted to go to bed with my socks on.  "If you sleep with your socks on, your ears will grow long like a donkey's."  Off came the socks.

Donkey's Ears
Lie

from:
Jumboyang

Golden Tooth Lie

From:  JennyZ

This is actually a lie my granddad told me when I was losing teeth.  He said that if I never stuck my tongue in the hole where the lost tooth was, the next tooth would grow in GOLD.  But I never could keep my tongue away from there, so I never found out if he was really lying or not *giggle*.
 

An Innocent "Lie"

from:
Rich Bergeron

 

There is no shortage of stubborn fathers, and mine is definitely one of the classics. For my Dad, admitting a mistake or a false accusation is like swallowing a whole bottle of Cod Liver Oil.

Along with Dad's obstinate ways, I also had to deal with his constant frustration due to missing tools he cursed me for losing, even when I never touched them. If something was gone, broken, or out of control, I was the one who had to face his wrath. When he yelled, the whole house shook, and when he called my name in a fit of anger, I approached his domain with extreme caution.

His favorite chastising sayings were gems like, "You're USELESS," old standbys like "Jesus Christ," and the ever popular question, "Can't you do anything right?" However, it was not these signs of paternal rage that I feared most. No, it was that call I would get, that bellow from his giant lungs that pronounced my name in a way that could only mean I'd done something wrong, horribly wrong.

One dark night I was ripped from a deep slumber by such a mind-numbing yell.

He called me down from my room and forced me to stare at an apple that had been absolutely mauled by a writing instrument and replaced in the refrigerator for safekeeping by some young culprit. My two sisters stood in shocked fear as he asked me sternly if I had punctured the fruit so mercilessly.

"No, Dad, I didn't touch it," I stammered.

"Well, then who did!? Your sisters say they didn't do it, it must have been you!" He extended his arm and showed the cratered apple to me as if it would jog my memory and force me to recall my unforgivable act.

I was at a loss for words, for the apple he was thrusting my way had not been a victim of my senseless cruelty. It was one of my sisters for sure, and they were too scared to tell. I wasn't one to point fingers or make up stories to the tune of a burglar coming in and performing the intricate mutilation. I just stood there and pleaded, stupidly at that, "But, Dad, I didn't do it, I swear."

Then he spoke the words I would never forget: "Maryjane, go get the lie detector." The next thing I remember is crawling under the kitchen table to plug in the contraption my father had bought out of a police catalog somewhere, a simple hunk of machinery that he was convinced was supposed to be able to reach into your brain and prove that you were a no good, dishonest hooligan.

I was strapped to this pulsing set of wires and made to sit in a kitchen chair to await the flip of a switch that would seal my fate. My sister Maryjane stood by silently, right up to the moment my Dad was ready to turn the thing on. Then, just as I was about to deposit some solid waste in my pull-ups, Maryjane stepped forward.

"Dad, it was me," she confessed. I was saved, and he was... embarrassed? I couldn't believe it. My father stood before me in a state of total confusion.

He looked at her and then back at me, puzzled. I was absolved, and he apologized. I couldn't help smiling as I plodded off to bed. As I approached the steps to my room, I contemplated the thought of what might have been if that switch had been thrown. My smile disappeared as he berated my sister, and I felt sorry for her, even though she was one step away from letting me take the blame.

To this day, that is the only time my father's ever admitted he was wrong. I will always remember it as a defining moment in my life when my father shook off his stubborn tendencies and allowed himself to be humbled. It was a great day for my family, even for Maryjane who was the victim of his final tantrum.

We had seen our father admit a mistake, something many fathers never do,something sacred in the life of a boy who longs for one chance to vindicate himself from a supposed "lie." Although it is a day my Dad would love to forget, I remind him every now and then and smile, hoping one day I might get the chance to see something like that again. I know, fat chance, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed anyway.

When my sisters and I were young, our mother would take us to the park by the river in the evenings.  We would show our love for her by bestowing handfuls of bright yellow dandelions on her.  She'd get tired of all the flowers and having to thank us for them.  Then she'd tell us that if you picked dandelions they'd make you pee the bed at night. 

Dandelion Lie
My
Mother
Used To
Tell Me

from: MommaSutra
Stay tuned for more lies from my youth!

Several

Family

Lies

from:

anon

Lies my grandmother told:
If you stand on your head your liver will turn over. 

If you swallow gum your insides will stick together.


Lies my mom told:
All the fake Santa's at the mall work for the real Santa they just relay the the messages.   We send Santa a check for your presents.


Lies my brother told:
Once there was a big spider outside my window.  He said if it writes your name in the web,you will die.  I checked the web everyday until eventually it looked like the first part of my name, I started crying.


Faster Computer Lie
from Hel
Trinidad, West Indies

Here's one about two of my cousins. The younger of the two was trying to browse a slow site on the internet, so his older brother told him, "Just press Alt-F4, and it'll go faster". I'm sure anyone who uses a PC can guess what happened. (For those who don't know, Alt-F4 closes the active window)

Parents and Lies
from:
Nathan Shinagawa
15 years old

Parents tell lies. Everyone does in fact, however should our parents be the ones who tell us the lies? Our parents are our role models, the people we look up to. Do we learn our lies from our parents, are our parents the ultimate keepers of lies?

Parents are the best ones to spread lies, they tell their children, the children tell their children, and so on. The path of the lie can go on for generations such as the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, and monsters. Parents tell lies so that they can manipulate their children, teach their children, and to have fun with their children. It cannot be denied that parents manipulate their children. Kids can be vicious, rambunctious, cute, and gullible. To take advantage of a child's viciousness and rambunctious behaviors the parent needs to take advantage of the fact that a child is gullible. Parents manipulate their children with the simplest lies, for example Santa Claus. Santa Claus gives presents to good kids, and coal to bad kids. Parents will tell their child, "You better be a good boy or Santa Claus will not give you any presents." This lie tells the child to be a good kid or you won't get anything, and thus the child will be a "good" kid. This manipulation helps the parent to control the child, whenever the child acts up then the parent will use the Santa Claus lie again, and again.

Parents use lies to teach their children morals and facts. "The Boy who cried wolf." This is more of a story then a lie, however let us use this story to support the argument. The "Boy Who Cried Wolf" is a story that talks about a child who lies all the time about almost everything. Then, when the boy is finally actually in trouble he tries to tell his parents that there really is a wolf, but they do not believe him. Thus, because the child lied, the wolf ate him. This "story" or "lie" is created by a parent to teach their children not to lie or you will pay for it. Perhaps this lie was even created by parents generations ago.

Parents love to have fun with their children. The tooth fairy, catching the Easter bunny, and so on are perfect examples of fun lies. When a child hears that his/her tooth can be redeemed for money they get ecstatic and in fact happy to lose teeth. On Easter, children love to stay up and try to catch the Easter Bunny. These lies have no visible purpose other then to have fun with the child.

Parents tell lies to manipulate their children, teach their children, and to have fun with their children. I remember, my parents used to tell me the funniest and craziest lies all the time. Now I am too old to believe them, but it is amazing to see the effect these lies have on a gullible 5-year-old. Lies have many uses, some good and some bad. The key though is to realize which lies are actually good and are actually bad.

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